Miuru

Miuru

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Gecko Superstars



People do stupid things to go with the flow or to whet the human element of camaraderie. The stupid thing I did was to enroll myself in one of those “mass” AL classes only ‘cos my friends thought it was the right thing to do at the time. It was more than a decade ago and I still remember the ‘mass’ feeling. 

There I was with 3 of my school friends sitting smack in the middle-most row of a humongous hall that resembled a Daana Shaalawa, with a sea of heads at a bird’s eye view. The infinite rows of teenagers were jammed shoulder to shoulder, knee cap to knee cap. Every Saturday I made sure not to drink too much of water. You can guess why. I couldn’t see the teacher’s face. Noone except the ones sitting in the first five rows could. What I could see was the back of the head of the student sitting two rows in front of me. From the back of that head my sight locked on the back of his shoulder where a grey-black, bloated, scaling gecko had just landed after jumping off student shoulders unawares to them. It dead-locked what was left of any rational thinking faculties in my brain. Sitting alert, now on the shoulder right in front of me smirking, the mini anaconda was looking in to my eyes, its head erect; threatening to pounce on me. I was left with a dizzying ungovernable panic mixed with revulsion. 


I remember my mother petting these creatures, sticking out cooked grains of rice for them to eat. The next thing you know is, too full in the tummy to defy gravity; it would land on your head or on the side of your ear with a soft ‘blop’ straight off the ceiling. 


How about the sight of the wriggly dismembered tail of a gecko who had just met with an amputating accident? Or the cup dregs of yesterday’s tea transformed in to swimming pools by some?

I had heard gecko horror stories from a lot of my friends. Out of many, two are definite brain-engravers.


Scenario number 1. A family of four baby girls. The mother, overworked and tired prepares 4 bottles of milk and leaves them open on the kitchen top to cool down heat. Minutes later, bottles all screwed shut with teats, mom distributes them among the four babies. The three elder girls drink up in a haste while the youngest, the mom notices, struggles with difficulty to suck the milk off the teat. Mom unscrews the bottle and gets shocked stiff to see an absolutely poached gecko drained of color, its carcass standing erect, its face molded to the exact contours of the inside of the teat. 

Scenario number 2. A young man enters his disheveled room. Not bothering to switch on the light, picks up the bottle of coke he left on the table the night before. Taking the bottle straight to his mouth, tosses down the remainder of the drink. With the final swig he feels the Disco wriggle inside his mouth of an unmistakable Gecko Superstar.

Lessons for life – Leave all consumables lidded shut at all time, in all stages of cooking, preparing and consuming. Check right above your head before settling to sit, sleep or even defecate.

Disclaimer: Any defamation directed at all geckos and animal rights activists is unintentional. The write- up was generated as therapeutic means of letting out irrational, phobic sentiments of the writer and to ease attitude towards and foster possibly a more friendly and co-existing disposition towards house geckos.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The story of my life..

No one ever won a chess match by making only forward moves.
Just like in life, Sometimes you have to move backward to take a better step forward.......
 
With heartfelt thanks to my friend Vinod Moolchand.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Simple Joys of Life


My parents were born and brought up in Paddukka. A calm pastoral locale, with hidden streams and sudden hillocks on unsuspecting pathways. I have always loved visiting the old ‘maha gedara’ of my maternal Gran that stood grand and Dutch across a white picket fence adorned with a colorful spray of periwinkles. Its compound would just stretch deeper and deeper, backing the old colonial house until it subdued and edged itself to a gleaming green paddy field, which once belonged to Gran herself. The extensive carpet of grass shielded by Coconut trees, ambarella trees, Mango trees, and the giant  kottang tree (Almond) felt giddy to the touch of my heel with its cushioned texture, fat and healthy with dew and the lack of carbon monoxide. It was here I learned to caress Nidi kumba to sleep, and wonder how on earth a tiny leafy plant could respond to touch so well. I had blown on Dandelions and watched them wafting away in to the mid-morning sun. I had felt heart-broken when my parents chose Colombo over this and sold that property to fund money for the transfer. 

Now, it works backwards. I am saving for a rustic retirement. Everything I aim for today is a convincing of a later life in the simple world of one-storied, cement floored, tiled-roofed, high- walled house with a vegetable garden in the countryside. And the last time I checked, my kids kind of like the idea too. The last time, was last week, when we travelled to Galle to my late father-in-law’s fifth year death commemoration.  We packed and left Colombo in my hubby’s Toyota Fielder. My children, obediently strapped to their immaculate car seats at the back. Hold. The ‘Car Seat’ must carry special mention.
             
The invention of the car seat for infants and toddlers has its pros and cons. Leaving the safety element aside, it is a load off the pelvises of the adult passengers especially on long trips. The cons outweigh with the whining and complaining following the discomfort it brings to the otherwise helter-skelter kid who is strapped in to immobility. And of course if you forget to take precautions if you are carrying a child with a proven track record of motion-sickness on outstation trips.. imagine the sloshing out of gunk that had escaped in to un-viewable crooks and curves of the hi-tech equipment. Oh well, we strap them on still, because it’s safe and convenient to the adults. 


After much wriggling and weaving through, we managed to getaway from the dense traffic in Colombo that added hours to our trip down south in vain. On our way, we managed to catch a glimpse or two of super hilarity, reading Singlish sign boards on boutiques or buses that slit by. Nothing could top the Direct English translation we saw for “Raththarang Amma saha Thaththa” on a trishaw just in front of us bumper to bumper in the Kalutara area. 
                     
It was 10.30 at night when we reached Ahangama. The fumes of Galley  Nanda’s (aunt)  unu – unu rathu haale bath (red raw rice straight from the stove) and karawala hodi  (dried fish curry) with pol samboley (hot coconut salad), came gushing out the veranda to welcome us. Five to six pairs of hands helped us unload the luggage, and my 2 children. The living room floor was mosaiced with unidentified branches of lineage sprawled across for the night cap. Tomorrow for them was a big day.

6 am the next day I shot up from bed reminding my duties as a helpful daughter-in-law. I pried open my eyes promising of a late morning holiday next time: gave up. slept for 2 minutes, arranged my thoughts about the duties of an ideal daughter-in-law, slept again for another 2 minutes, jolted up shuddering of the disturbance, slept again for the ‘final’ 2 minutes sitting; woke up in a shock being reminded about the helping hand, and finally dragged myself to the kitchen. 

It was a beehive of activity. There was absolutely nothing left for me to do. Fish ambul thiyal was piping on the stove, dhal curry, bringal salad, cashew curry, pots of red and white rice, creamy potato curry, 2 varieties of mallung, green beans curry, poppadam and even cutlets were laid out all wrapped in bread powder, ready to be fried. I had missed the bus and was angling myself slowly to the bathroom when my more feminine in- laws were cleaning the kitchen after them. A distant cousin I forgot the name of, came beaming at me holding out a hot cup of tea asking “Dandei  avadi une”? (Did you just wake up?)

Everything here was the opposite of Colombo. Starting from the dialect which had a compulsory suffix  ‘ei’ through the smiling, non-committal faces to the stress-less approach to what ever work that had to be undertaken, these were a different species of men and women. What a relief it was from the grouchy, complaining, all-day expression of most I encountered in that foreign land I lived some years ago.
When my little ones got up, a class of little family members took them on, leaving me with an unusually free spell I had not experienced since my elder was born three years ago. It was a rare opportunity for me to make mental imprints of an interesting line-up that ensued thereafter.

First my elder son took a natural bearing on the fact that all his playmates were girls. My younger son was being cuddled and cooed by alike as well. The men, including my husband was busy doing men-work before the monks arrived for the alms giving. 
One cousin however took to the kitchen to prepare the fruit salad. He had lost his left leg in a claymore mine explosion on the war front as a soldier some years ago in the North. His dexterous hands were cutting up the fruit with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel. 

The older women were in the kitchen still double checking the dishes. Another cousin was inside the outer bedroom that chipped out from the living room to the front foyer, arranging the ‘pirikara’ for the 15 monks who would invoke blessings to my late father in law.
 
Kids were playing with a basin of water; mine Scot-free from under the disapproving looks from their mother over phlegm and water-induced ailments. The freedom was tangibly in the air. I couldn’t help but ease my guard and look at them with renewed eyes. My mom-in-law, their Gran was too looking out from the kitchen window, smiling encouragement.  Grunt!

Galley Mama’s (uncle) Sillara Kadey, which was closed for the occasion of the alms giving was a hit joint among the set of little cousins, so much so that Galley ‘Seeya’ had to give them and my elder son in particular,(who has never stepped in to one – save the gigantic supermarkets) a sneak peak of its colourful selection of essential content.

11 am. The simple abode intense with activity was shushed with the arrival of the monks, whose feet were wiped dust free at the entrance, sat neatly across each other in the hall. I carried the offerings of poppadam and brinjal moju with me which were turned down by many monks. The High-blood pressure and angina scare had invaded the rural and the spiritual plane definitely as I witnessed the small amounts of rice and the refusal of oily dishes by most of the Swamin Wahanses.
Alms Giving over, the men disappeared in to the magical land of Mendis Gal and Pol (inexpensive local Spirits) 

For my children, who have identical high chairs back in Colombo, meal taking has always been a dull affair. Keep them on the chairs and serve the food on to the tray before them, they would take a good hour or two to call it quits. Running around in the garden spraying water on galley mama’s proud vegetable beds, each morsel of food they ran to eat from the plate I was holding, was granted its due gratitude today.
 The open veranda provided the late afternoon breeze that lulled the kids and some of the men who lounged on easy arm chairs and snoozed off after a heavy-set lunch. 

Replacing the all-day Air conditioning, a quick splash of cool well-water out in the declining sun added a refreshing epilogue to a simple wholesome day in the village.


With our Fielder boot bundling under the heavily added weight from the cassocks of rice and staples; gifts from galley nanda and maama, we wheedled ourselves back to Colombo, leaving a full pedigree flanking the car, ogling at the novel concept of the children being strapped ( “geta gahala”) to two car seats. I promise myself -as we stopped at the beach -that we will too one day rejoice in our peaceful rural retirement, if we ever live to it in this mad man-made jungle of Colombo.



Saturday, October 8, 2011

Falling For You



by Em Jay on Sunday, August 19, 2007 at 9:43pm

Falling for you

you say that i'm falling for you
did i say that too?
or are you?

We talk we work we do things together
are we friends or something else?
falling for you..
Me.. or you?

Do you want to? Do I?
Could i Fall? Could you?
It is confusing? or have we made it that way?

Are we friends? or are we STILL friends?
you say that i'm falling for you...
did i say that too?
Or did You?

Faces



by Em Jay on Sunday, August 19, 2007 at 9:46pm

I see them ... faces.
changing,
different
like years and days and hours
i see them....people.
changing,
different
personalities, characters
but just some faces, and lesser people
stay..
they stay they haunt...
bring joy or sorrow
in life's various dents and bumps, they come and they go
those faces, those people, those personalities and those characters....
ah could one live without them?
different, changing
like years days and hours.



Clean



by Em Jay on Sunday, August 19, 2007 at 9:47pm

I go clean
after a storm, rapture and a tempest
I go clean
on my hearts consent
I lie, i settle, i conceal
So the folds of that chapter wouldnt open again.
I elate, victorious as i believ
it is the right thing to do.
I go clean
for the people i love
I go clean
for the ones that i want to love me

Lonely Lover



by Em Jay on Sunday, August 19, 2007 at 9:49pm

tell me
you lonely lover
You say goodbye to Youth
at the threashold of manhood
Unchanged you are.. still searching for the one
i am too still
forever...
tell me lonely lover
tell me.

your tears turn to salt
as you search the oceans
you search at day
you search at night
have you ever
searched closer to you?
I am her.
its I... lonely lover
Its I....

tell me
you lonely lover
You say goodbye to Youth
at the threashold of manhood
Unchanged you are.. still searching for the one
i am too still
forever...
tell me lonely lover
tell me.

day and night turn my enemies
as i lay waiting for you to find me
you search at day
you search at night
have you ever
searched closer to you?
I am her.
its I... lonely lover
Its I....

Tell me you lonely lover
tell me...
what are you searching for?
Have you searched
closer to you?
so close
that you dont know
its I..
Its I... you lonely lover..
my lonely lover..




The Memory



by Em Jay on Thursday, August 23, 2007 at 1:06pm

Dig deep in to my heart.
so deep, an unending web of memories will confuse you
a web full of colour at times
at times dull grey you'll get lost not able to find your way
open those hidden doors
release the locks
unbound those shackles
its an adventure to untangle what was put away
long ago
you'll know
and at the end of the tunnel, at the very abyss, you'll find
You.

Do you remember now?
It was love
Painful.
yet how tender
you had your life
I had mine… sorted.. settled..
how you tossed the peaceful tides in to a ravenous storm
drenched I was in the foam so angry that it tore me apart
and then I was gone..

but still, even today
dig deep in to my heart.
so deep, an unending web of memories will confuse you
a web full of colour at times
at times dull grey you'll get lost not able to find your way
open those hidden doors
release the locks
unbound those shackles
its an adventure to untangle what was put away
long ago
you'll know
and at the end of the tunnel, at the very abyss, you'll find
You.

I am here now
So far away.
But when I die
The last memories that flit through my mind
In my last moments, when the time is due
Will be of
You.




The useless Dove



by Em Jay on Tuesday, September 4, 2007 at 12:07am

A dove her wings shorn
struts on the ground.
No complaints, or whinging as
She is not that type.
picking on waste when she needs food.
singing at night when it is the mood.
Why worry, she thinks, life is such
Simple and quiet, You live as it comes.
But one day the dove sees a swan
A vision in white, graceful and young
Just like me, dove thought
Yet so different she could have sworn
Her wings spread the breath of the lake
Gliding gracefully, Dove thinks… but hey
Its I who can fly, and she can only wade.
But why then, I’m here, my wings sheared
My path shut
When a swan, so useless looks so serene
She glides I only strut.
The dove so white and pure
With shorn wings pulling her to the ground
Thinks why I am just too demure.
The dove awaits, a tomorrow
With her wings brought back
The dove awaits a different morrow
Where she touches the sky
She thinks its high time.

The Wait…



by Em Jay on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 at 4:54pm

I feel the swim
The blossoming of your dawn
I feel the flutter
The butterfly that I’ve grown
My blood and soul
Split in two
In happiness that I elate
And await
To see your face

How is it possible?
Of love to create you
How is it possible
To hold you
Me?
Did I ever believe?
I thought I’d never dream
Not Anymore
Simply Magical…









To you princess, with love
From Ammi….
23/07/08


A challenge to the Lord


by Em Jay on Thursday, July 31, 2008 at 7:16pm

I’ve seen English weather
Snow….
in the middle of spring
sheets of Daffodils
Dew….
Teasing the petals
To fall or not to…

I’ve seen snowcapped mountains
Beautiful…
Scot highlands
Valleys of deep entrenches
A lazy sun…
raising its eyes
To look down
On sea green meadows

I’ve felt the Indian Ocean
licking the salt off my face
Of linking waters of Southern Africa
from Hikkaduwa to Durban.
Fascinated..
By geography…

I’ve seen the picture perfect tarred roads
The smell of clean sheets
And exotic street lights
In holidays spent in Singapore
Jordan, Wales and the Wight

Inside beautiful Bawa creations
Out on the pinnacles of hills
Cool…
Fresh…
The suns and moons that shone
Waterfalls and tropical getaways
Spent in magnificent Ceylon

But all this
Only a fraction of happiness
Awe
And wonder
Set apart from seeing the tweak of flesh
On my tummy
Of my little one moving
Inside her mommy..

Dizzied with elation
I am today
To see the beginning of you
Little pitter patter
Chubby fingers poking
Trying to see more
Are those fingers I see
Or a little toe?

Lord Buddha once said,
Nothing is yours..
Not to keep, not to store
Everything we ever had
We’d have to leave and go
But the Lord’s wrong
I say
How can I ever leave you
My little one
I created you
You are my own





Angels in the ceiling


by Em Jay on Monday, August 4, 2008 at 11:25am

Every morning
Is a blessing
In the guise of the unseen face
of a Beautiful future
With you
I feel full, of life inside me
You have already woken
Hungry for the morning tea
I wake your father
Who kisses my belly
And says “good morning
My little princess…”

Not so far away
Is the day
I see us waking up together
Some days even jolted by your hungry cries
Maybe a soft whimper
Or even when you are big enough
Your tiny hands banging on my face
Trying to wake me up

And your father will say
“Good morning my little princess”
Love shining in his sleepy face
And I will smile, thinking he’s greeting me
To open my eyes
And see you
Cuddled in between
Snug and warm
Happy and talking alone to the ceiling
To angels that hover above

I can’t imagine
What it’d be like
With you
In our jaded lives….
Come soon my love
We are waiting…




Scribbled Calendar



by Em Jay on Monday, November 17, 2008 at 11:10am
 
Encircled November
Saturdays numbered..
Crossed weeks in Thirty five, thirty six
How many more to stay and watch?….
The torso on the opposite spread
Eye candy gone awry
Pushed deep in to oblivion
Just one single thought
In unintentional meditation
How many more Saturdays….
Until that big day..
Have i got…?

Two weeks…. An eternity…
Slow twenty fours
Slapping on my face
The sun rising in lazy motion
Days dragging like a leper’s cloak
Tormenting each hour
With its colourless furore
I stand still in the middle of a whirling world
Anticipating…
Waiting….
For that special thing to happen….



Taking on the World with Niklesh : Supermarkets, doors, and paper clips



By – Em Jay

My hubby Channa  had a Super Supermarket checkout moment with our son Niklesh recently.  It had been a crowded weekday evening at the checkouts with lots of tight-skirted/tie- wearing, Aunty-Netta-type English speaking busy bodies de-touring to grab a bite for dinner, gedara yana gaman.

Niklesh had examined Channa’s place of pride, blissfully oblivious to his whereabouts and any social implication, and of course in his usual very conspicuous, high-volume, high-pitched voice had announced “ahh.. mey thiyenne thaththige choo eka..!” (ahhh… this is where my father pees from)
Channa promises he went violet in face (not sure how much of it was visible as he was born rust colored anyways ) and coughed as if he was suddenly suffering from an unbearable bout of whooping cough to dilute the situation. You ask what the others at the checkout said and how they responded to the moment, Channa wouldn’t know.. Cos he had been “paa wenawa”  (airborne) out of sheer embarrassment.

That was Channa’s moment. And he will carry it to his tomb. I had mine recently. It was different. 
I had lectured Niklesh of the behavior he would have to adopt in a crowded environment and had taken his promise of discretion before we took him to the same supermarket 2 days ago.
There we were again at the checkouts. It was just as busy as the previous fateful day. Channa was unloading our groceries to the conveyor belt and the unassuming gentleman who was next in line adjusted our packet of eggs before it risked falling off the belt.
There goes Niklesh again. “Uncle oka allanna epa, oka mage thaththige!” (Uncle, stop touching my father’s goods) It was the ‘uncle’s’ moment to go violet in face and he really apologized to the twit, mumbling something half-audible like “apoo nehe nehe, mama oyaage thaththige badu allanne nehe” (No,no I will not touch your father’s stuff) This was the cue for me to go violet. I looked at Channa who laughed loud maybe to dilute the situation again as I couldn’t see anything remotely laughable there. I was livid. I took Niklesh's arm and in an equally loud and a stern voice chided him, of course in my well-acquired English “Putha you don’t say such things. That was very bad of you. Please say sorry to uncle now”. It was not all in vain for Niklesh was all ready to apologize with a playful smile he sang “Sorry uncle”. The poor man avoided or maybe couldn’t bear to look in the eye of either of ours or our child’s.

Nik would throw his alphabet books on the floor and you ask him to pick it up he wouldn’t. He would throw a tantrum that he wouldn’t eat his lunch, mostly the only meal he has the whole day, and you ask him politely giving him all the baits under the sun and he still would come up with a firm, headstrong “epaaa”. He would hurl his hefty toys at his grandparents and you ask him to stop it and he would throw the next available brick at them. There have been uncountable moments where Niklesh would act obstinate and would drive both of us mad with impatience and the inner struggle to smack him square if not for all the parenting tips and assertions we have come across by professional child psychiatrists and like-minded friends. Sometimes ever so rarely it gets the better of me and I would strike him across his pudgy bum which he would tolerate and softly say with so much character in tone “Ammi epaa!” meaning ‘I don’t want you’.
The best Channa could devise was “the naughty corner”. The hinging - corner of the main door to our house where Nik would have to stand and wait for our clearance to come out following bad behaviour. First I was skeptical of the whole idea. Ok, you select a place; you call it a naught corner, but what is the assurance that my intractable 2 years- and- 5 months- old, would accept it as a punishment, better yet, would he stay there if you ask him to?
It worked wonderfully. Weird as it may sound, you threaten him that he will end up in the naughty corner, and he would check his attitude and behavior. But not too long before I noticed something very disturbing in his usual independent attitude. He started fearing doors. Any door. He started fearing the engravings of the colossal entrances to hotels and restaurants that we took him to. He feared Oval shapes. Because the door that he stands cornered at home has the engraving of a huge oval on it. I have now decided to slowly phase him out of the naughty corner concept that gave us the sense of satisfaction of discipline with Nik.

Nik is brilliant with colors and shapes. In his pyjamas, ready for bedtime he asked me to stay with him until he falls asleep. With a pantry-full of dirty dishes and un-brushed teeth, I was struggling the urge to shutdown myself as it is normally the case with being his bedmate. My fingers stumbled on a pink, plastic- coated paper clip lying on the bed and tried my tricks with it while Nik looked on. I straightened out the clip as much as I could in to a crooked rod and fashioned it in to an almost heart shape and waited for Nik to recognize it. “Heart” he said. I curved it in to an almost crescent and he said “Moon” I fumbled with it again and Nik said “ rectangle” identifying the shape with utmost ease. Then he took the plastic piece from my hand and showed me the kinks that it characteristically had when it was still in paper clip form, nonchalantly put the two ends together and said “Sri Lanka”. Try doing it yourself and see how a jaffna-less Sri Lanka emerges from the unsuspecting piece of wire-plastic ..

I watched my bright, naughty son in his sleep that night. His cherubic cheeks, thick black hair cut to no.0 for his comfort that made his facial features stand out distinctly. His lush long eye lashes curving upwards at the ends, his marked eyebrows, so black that it sets his fair smooth baby skin out so finely. Lips so pink and the snubbed nose that I never could make right with daily cream massages to the dismay of my mother and mother-in-law. They think he inherited it from his mother.. Me..I watched him in his sleep and made a mental toast, “here’s to me, to have been able to form this creation. Here’s to me who can put up with all his mischief throughout the day. Here’s to me for another identical day tomorrow and as long as I live!”
Here’s to all mothers struggling to stay psychologically afloat in their children’s varying stages of metamorphoses.