Gecko Superstars

People do stupid things to go with the flow or to whet the human element of camaraderie. The stupid thing I did was to enroll myself in one of those “mass” AL classes only ‘cos my friends thought it was the right thing to do at the time. It was more than a decade ago and I still remember the ‘mass’ feeling. 

There I was with 3 of my school friends sitting smack in the middle-most row of a humongous hall that resembled a Daana Shaalawa, with a sea of heads at a bird’s eye view. The infinite rows of teenagers were jammed shoulder to shoulder, knee cap to knee cap. Every Saturday I made sure not to drink too much of water. You can guess why. I couldn’t see the teacher’s face. Noone except the ones sitting in the first five rows could. What I could see was the back of the head of the student sitting two rows in front of me. From the back of that head my sight locked on the back of his shoulder where a grey-black, bloated, scaling gecko had just landed after jumping off student shoulders unawares to them. It dead-locked what was left of any rational thinking faculties in my brain. Sitting alert, now on the shoulder right in front of me smirking, the mini anaconda was looking in to my eyes, its head erect; threatening to pounce on me. I was left with a dizzying ungovernable panic mixed with revulsion. 

I remember my mother petting these creatures, sticking out cooked grains of rice for them to eat. The next thing you know is, too full in the tummy to defy gravity; it would land on your head or on the side of your ear with a soft ‘blop’ straight off the ceiling. 

How about the sight of the wriggly dismembered tail of a gecko who had just met with an amputating accident? Or the cup dregs of yesterday’s tea transformed in to swimming pools by some?

I had heard gecko horror stories from a lot of my friends. Out of many, two are definite brain-engravers.

Scenario number 1. A family of four baby girls. The mother, overworked and tired prepares 4 bottles of milk and leaves them open on the kitchen top to cool down heat. Minutes later, bottles all screwed shut with teats, mom distributes them among the four babies. The three elder girls drink up in a haste while the youngest, the mom notices, struggles with difficulty to suck the milk off the teat. Mom unscrews the bottle and gets shocked stiff to see an absolutely poached gecko drained of color, its carcass standing erect, its face molded to the exact contours of the inside of the teat. 

Scenario number 2. A young man enters his disheveled room. Not bothering to switch on the light, picks up the bottle of coke he left on the table the night before. Taking the bottle straight to his mouth, tosses down the remainder of the drink. With the final swig he feels the Disco wriggle inside his mouth of an unmistakable Gecko Superstar.

Lessons for life – Leave all consumables lidded shut at all time, in all stages of cooking, preparing and consuming. Check right above your head before settling to sit, sleep or even defecate.

Disclaimer: Any defamation directed at all geckos and animal rights activists is unintentional. The write- up was generated as therapeutic means of letting out irrational, phobic sentiments of the writer and to ease attitude towards and foster possibly a more friendly and co-existing disposition towards house geckos.