Miuru

Miuru

Friday, March 8, 2013

How to cure acute hydro- phobia




Curtain Raiser:


Adventure has never attracted me. The one time I went on a 90 degree gravity thrust from 205 feet above ground level at a 80 miles per hour speed in London’s Thorpe Park, I went numb, my heart split in to fragments, brain tissue sprinkled over mother earth. It was the end for me. An end that deprived me of that final right of a scream with my vocal chords clogged up in a messy shock inside a hidden corner of the throat. The only open organ, my eyes; witnessed the horror that day that developed in to lifelong vertigo. 


Vertigo for me then was acquired. But the fear of water was inherent. I have been ultra and acutely phobic to deep water; still and moving since I can remember. Since the 2004 Tsunami struck Sri Lanka my recurring nightmare has been ever since, the final thoughts of the victims who were engulfed and swept straight in to the bottomless endless sea, framed in by gigantic monstrous tidal waves that recorded more than 98 feet in height. I had prayed to die by being hit by a truck, by being shot or stabbed but never by drowning. I would never have a peaceful and a restful soul and my ghost will wander aimless reliving that horrific moment wailing like a banshee.



 

The Protagonists:

Yasara has a commanding physique with a long neck and lean statuesque legs. When she and I stand together she towers over and pushes me in to oblivion of sight. (Of course I know my intellectual height makes up for most of those lost inches). Yasa’s frame albeit intimidating at times did not alter the constant child in her. Adventure for her is life’s gospel. She is fearless, headstrong and fabulously unselfconscious. For Yasa, a paper rocket is a product of NASA and a basin of water is an ocean for a paper boat. Everything she saw had color, a new meaning and is a quest to unfurl. 

She wanted me to watch “The Impossible”. A movie co-directed by a real life Tsunami survivor where the deaths of the catastrophe is shown as not mainly by drowning but by collateral damage caused by the force of the tide. The gory wound of  Naomi Watt’s left shin, torn apart by a wayward piece of furniture thrust at her and later as a festering  gash made her fight for her life. Moral of the film; people didn’t only die by drowning during a Tsunami. 




The Plot:

‘The Impossible’ was Yasara’s dress rehearsal for me. A week later she manhandled me in to accompanying her and some of her friends to Bentota. That weekend her life revolved around curing me from hydro- phobia which I was happy to live with and Water sports was the least of the last I wanted to engage myself in. But the shame of being the coward in the crowd took the better of me and by the time I realized what I had gotten myself in to, I had already been strapped in to a life jacket and was planted on a Yamaha speed boat to doom.  I remember my eyes watering and clutching the arms of Yasa and Chatz on either sides of me. The familiar stanzas of “ithipiso” got mixed up under breath when the boat roared off the stillness of the Bentota river. The rider showed off his skills to my horror not once or twice but on innumerable occasions where the boat glided, bobbed and landed on the water with forceful pressure and speed. The two ladies on either side of me was going in to hysterics as expected, shouting and clamoring their release from the daily mundane. Oh I loved my mundane. How good was mundane.

 As the boat got to the banks I envisioned that the worst was over. Like hell it was. I was hustled to the water once again and found my ass on the water this time sitting on what they called a Ringo.

My final inquiry from yasa who was seated parallel to me on an identical, bottomless, inflated circle beaming like a 7 year old – was if there was any risk of being tipped to the water. “ No.. don’t worry. Just enjoy” her last words flew away in the speeding air as the motor boat towed the ringo as fast as that rollercoaster I dreaded 10 years ago. The only difference was this was thrust horizontally and the frequent slapping and lashing of blades of water against my inexperienced bum.

 ‘Wooowweeeee… eeeeeeeee…hahhahaaaaaa … wooooweeeee..’  Yasa’s excited shrills wafted in to the watery vapor surrounding us gushing about throwing us high at times and pressed down hard on the surface of the river at others while the motor boat in front of us sped on. ‘Pleeeeeeese stttttttopppppppp…. I want to go hommmmme’!!! were my first soprano pleas that drowned in the cacophony of slashing and sloshing force of the water, which I was supposed to be ‘enjoying’. Against my fancy, on the Ringo, I closed my eyes. How ironic. I wished I went back on that motor boat and closed the chapter on ‘water sports’ leaving a better taste in my mouth.   On the inflated circle, I was only decimals away from that eerie bottomless, endless river with the constant reminder facilitated by the repeated sprays of foamy streams against my face. Couldn’t there be any uglier cue to the phobic of the very element of her life-long dread?

Then came the Banana Boat ride. Oh that looked easier than the Ringo. Emboldened by two watery experiences, it was my perfect end to a horror-ridden day. The Banana boat carried all five of us in a row, one behind the other. Towed aggressively by a motor boat like the ringo,  the Banana ride assumed itself as steady and supportive; or so I thought until the boat took a sharp turn and tipped us all in the Bentota river. The moment was so sudden and shockingly unexpected that my id and ego debated what had happened. I remember looking at the expansiveness of colour blue and gulping some of it clumsily before a hand jerked my head through the surface of the water. When I came to, I was hanging on to both Yasa’s hands as if doing kiri kiri bole.

 ‘Arent you going to slap that man for not doing his job right? He tipped us!!!’

 I went in to a bumbling fit referring to the boat rider. 

‘That is what you call a Happy banana ride. The tipping is part of the game’ she was ecstatic.

 While hanging on to Yasa for precious life still in the water, I could not fathom how I allowed myself to be completely man and mind-handled by her. In a corner of my mind as I turned and looked closely, the monster had softened. But my super ego was in control. No. I was not going to be lured. 



The epiphany:


Back on the Yamaha speed boat. Spent, but curiously alive with novel perceptions of adventure. Ok so it was not that bad. And it’s all done. Or so again I thought! The rider took a corner and glided in to a steady stream of water throwing glances at me sideways. A wink passed and we were crossing the river delta and venturing in to the sea. The boat took a steady upbeat rhythm, and my heart sank as I found myself screaming in disbelief! “Are you serious? We are in the sea! you are riding away from the shore!” my companions whoosh and whooped as the boat succeeded tide after tide plunging us deeper and deeper in to the ocean. Physically shaken and shaking from the sheer psychological exertion, I realized that the boat had infiltrated itself into the deep waters maybe only inches away from crossing the maritime border of the land. The happy sunbathing sand-playing ocean lovers now indistinct at my vantage point. We were completely and utterly alone without any other living creature in sight except for the sea and aero life that surrounded us with eerie callings. I was waiting. Just waiting so everyone would come to their senses and turn back to go home.

 And then the boat stopped.

 Engine off.

The negligible swishing noise of the water caught by the occasional sea breeze made the loudest noise we’ve heard in our lives. And then again it fell so very silent.

“all right. Jump then” the rider’s instructions were well received by Yasa, Chatz and Tarik. Under my disbelieving gaze, every one jumped in to the sea. In my heart of hearts I was thinking. Oh chicken! I am in the middle of the sea. There is no one to help me except for these 4 people whom I have learnt to trust. Yes I trust them. They are my friends and they will take care of me.

Slosh! There I jumped.

I have seen the 4 seasons. I have seen the first sprinkles of formy snow in the snow capped mountain highlands. I’ve seen the break of dawn from adam’s peak, the silvery clouds giving way to the piercing rays of the early morning sun. The only most beautiful thing that could top it all could be the first glimpse of my first born straight out from my womb. That first sight of my baby could only be subordinate to the beauty I saw that day. Floating in the middle of the Indian ocean watching the fiery ball of that magnificent sun being devoured by the edges of the horizon. The horizon that looked close enough to reach out and touch. The pinky purpleness of the late evening sky reflecting gloriously on the face of the water. ‘A call of a seagull. The sprays of birds flying in groups just above us, in retirement after a day’s living.

I felt sedated. Tranquilled and lost in a dream. The five of us made a ring holding on to each others’ hands, twirling making childish noises, spraying water at each other, tickling feet under the surface of the water. I could live like this forever. The ocean, the setting sun and maybe Yasa for company. Yasa, my beautiful, annoying adventurous playmate. Thank you, for opening me to a world that I never knew existed. This was a moment I lived. Really and truly lived. I don’t know if I was completely cured of acute hydro-phobia.. But if someone asked me if I would to do it all over again;

Yes.
I would.

 
 



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